Thankful for My Twinsie

i just had the BEST night with the best friend a girl could ask for.  chase and i really do have this insane bond that i can't even completely describe, but it is never more apparent than on nights like tonight.  all we did was go eat (at an amazing restaurant called flip burger), nothing special.  but i don't think we stopped talking for more than 15 seconds!  we really talked about some soul searching stuff too...stuff that just reminded me that that boy knows me.  i mean, REALLY knows me.  it's so comforting knowing that i don't have to put up any kind of defenses around him.  it's just safe.  that's the best word to describe it.

not many people other than my family know this, but that fact is especially meaningful to me given my friendship history, particularly with one person who is no longer in my life.  i've recently realized that they really did a number on me.  they were extremely manipulative and destructive and i have to constantly remind myself that not everyone is like that.  not everyone is going to react to things the way they did and treat me the way i was treated.  even knowing this though, i still find myself bracing for impact.  i have pretty significant anxiety issues centering around approval and people being upset with me (or me thinking they are upset with me) and i would go so far to say that they are probably almost completely a result of that friendship.  so anyway, all this to say, that with friendships like chase's (and several others that are so special to me), i am reminded over and over again and blessed i am to have a true, honest friendship that is not going to turn on me in an instant.

WOW, SERIOUS BLOG. sorry....haha. didn't mean for THAT to happen.  i should probably say something funny now.

OH, how bout i tell a story that had me and chase ROLLING tonight.  we were reminiscing on a particular evening this past summer....chase, myself and our friend caitlin were carpooling on our way back from a rehearsal and we were well into a very serious conversation about a topic we were rather heated about at the moment (not heated at each other, just heated in general).  anyway, i was in the backseat, passionately talking about my thoughts on the subject and at one point meant to say "i mean, it's a DIFFERENT CITY," but instead of city, i was thinking "town" in my head and it literally came out "i mean, it's a DIFFERENT TITTY."

hahahaha.  yeah, we waited about a nanosecond before ERUPTING in laughter.  part of it was that chase knows how much i hate that word and never say it, so the fact that it came out of MY mouth was hysterical.  like, chase literally turned around (as he was driving) and pointed at me going "AHAHAHAHAHAHAHHOHOHOHHAHAHAOHOHO!"

interpret that as you will.  try to say it out loud if you want to even.

well that is a much better note to end this blog on i think.  i'm laughing to myself now just thinking about that moment....hahaha. such good memories :)